mood: Pissed as hell. No. Jealous as hell.

listening to: patchwork project - all away of this

Here he is! The next one who tries his best on my best-friend and beloved one. Night hours spent together designing a map for her last geological excursions report until 7 in the morning, a well placed hand on her shoulder at the right time and some kinda behaviour my best-friend showed, when he thought, he had mad up kinda relationship with her.

Yet another guy who thinks that the odds are in his favour after knowing her only a week or so. What was the song i wrote about and for her?: "I hate to love you!" Yeah, that's really what I think right now. In fact, to me she tells that she is not interested in any guy to make up a relationship, especially not to someone who's ten years older. Still, how could that hand have stayed about 5 minutes or so undetected on her shoulder anyway? I hate being jealous, and I hat being phony, but how could i help? I just shouldn't have come up tonight at her home...

Once again I try to relax, and to get to sleep with again these thoughts in mind.

How nice this day could be dealt with. In earlier years there were parties or family meetings. Now there is only humiliation...

Well I thought I could just start right off...

My best-friend and (what makes it worse) queen of heart is having internship in a coal-minig facility somewhere in the west of the country. I REALLY MISS her. On Friday evening we phoned about an hour and finally I told her, that "i somehow miss her a bit up here". She said she knew what I meant: "Yeah, something's missing somehow." I'm pretty sure, she meant it just in a friendly way and not in terms of missing her beloved one, but that was exactly what I meant! Well this is pretty descriptive of all the situation between me and her. I'm sitting around having some stupid insects humming in my belly, looking forward to seeing her (maybe) on Friday and dreaming of how to hug and kiss her on her forehead, when I finally meet her again. Still she thought that she needed every second of sleep all of the last week, so she couldn't have phoned me. I told her via SMS, that some intersting story happened to me, which she might find interesting. She promised to phone, when she had enogh time. I think only the costs of her mobile made her call not until friday. The story that happened exactly a week ago was that one of her precious stalkers asked me whether we two (Stephie and I) are together. Well what a chance, to get rid of him! But good old me thought: "stick to te thruth" and said: "Nope, not that i knew about."

So now she will come here next weekend for the only one time during her internship. Guess what, that's the only one weekend in all that time, that I plan to go back to so called "home" to my parents and I already made plans with at least 3 other friends. I suggested she might come along. I'm sure Sebastian and Kristin would like to meet her. Don't even think of it! She has to write some damn reports about her geologist's excursions and wtf else and they have to paint in their knew flat-sharing community. Seems like I even get envious of her studies and her fsc-colleagues... At last: There is no way to make her come along with me and I will have a lot of fun with my friends! Without her. Next time to see her: at least a month later...

A bit confused all that, but was good to sort my mind out a bit. Still can't concentrate on thermodynamics, which i should be learning and still missing Stephie...

Anyone who want's to exchange skins? Mine is a bit worn out...

Hi there!

I'm new here. Heard about this through my cousin. She was posting some interesting stories about herself and her (once) best-friend. Thought, if she could handle trouble better with this, maybe I could, too.

So let's see...